Retreat and Surrender

Isaiah 30:15

Rest. 

Repentance - or "returning".

Quietness.

Trust....

Last weekend I attended a retreat called Refine. It wasn't what I expected. Most retreats I have attended in the past had sessions and workshops throughout the day and we were filled with information to process in our downtime. This retreat had limited information or content and was filled with downtime, a two-hour art journaling session, worship and some guided reflection time. At first I was a bit put off by the lack of content - isn't that what we pay for on a retreat, after all? But as it turned out, the way of this retreat was just what I needed. It was just what God had in store for me.

I have been in a slump, a dry place, especially creatively, since late January. We dealt with a family crisis throughout the month of February which drained me emotionally. Add to that a week of illness in the midst of it and I have struggled to regain any sort of creative energy. And then the time for this retreat came along. On Friday evening Kris Camealy, our retreat host, laid out the weekend and shared her heart for our time. Using Psalm 66:1-12, and especially verse 12, Kris laid out the theme for our weekend as "a place of abundance".

"For you, God, tested us;

    you refined us like silver....

we went through fire and water,

    but you brought us to a place of abundance."

Psalm 66:10 & 12

She called us to open our hands and release whatever we are holding onto that is holding us back from experiencing the abundance and freedom God has for us. On Friday evening and early Saturday morning I spent a good amount of time reflecting and journaling about this passage and the state of my mind and heart. And slowly I began to feel filled and rested. And then came the art journaling session led by Christine Hiester. 

Oh, the art journaling session.....Christine started  in a time of prayer and reflection to lead us into our art journaling time continuing the theme of open hands. My creative slump began to lift as ideas and images began to fill my mind. We filled our journal page, writing down the things that are holding us back, keeping us stuck, not allowing us to move in God's freedom. Then we covered our writing with paint and paper and and let the art flow! I felt so released and filled with creative energy! When the two hour session ended I quickly ate lunch and returned to the art room to keep going. When the afternoon art session began I simply switched rooms and made art until dinner time, feeling so refreshed by the creativity that filled my heart and my mind. I felt restored!

Over the past months, as I felt lost in this emotionally draining time, I didn't do the things I normally do to process life - journaling, art, blogging - I even had to miss scheduled times with my mentor during this time. I felt stuck and couldn't focus for long on these things that usually bring me life and energy. But this weekend in the midst of pine trees and the sacred surroundings of a retreat center that was once a convent; in the midst of a community of women, times of reflection, worship and downtime, God pulled me out of my slump and restored me. I am refreshed. My ability to journal and make art and blog has been renewed and I feel like...Me. A rested and restored me.

Since early January the word surrender, or synonyms such as let go or release, have been popping up everywhere. In songs, in books or blog posts I read, in Sunday morning messages. It popped up again at the retreat and became a theme for my weekend. 

On Friday night Kris said:

"The way to a place of abundance is through surrender."

My word for this year is "whole", and I have had a sense through the first few months of the year that "surrender" is going to play a big part in living out this word.

Through this past week as I have reflected on the retreat, I have had a deeper awareness of things I have known about myself. Sometimes God has to tell me things a few times before they sink into my heart. Repeated, gentle, loving reminders. My creative slunps are usually not about a lack of creativity. They are usually an indicator of a deeper draining within me. I have become aware of how intricately connected my spiritual, emotional and creative health and energy are. When I'm drained emotionally I find it difficult to write in my journal and read the Bible, and even at times to pray. When I'm not writing in my journal and connecting to God through His Word and prayer, I find that my emotional and creative energy are impacted. So, the best prescription for me to remain healthy is to keep my heart and mind connected to God through His Word and prayer and writing in my journal, and then processing it all through art.

"Come and hear, all who fear God,
And I will tell of what He has done for my soul." Psalm 66:16

We did a great exercise while at the retreat. We were asked to write down the baggage we brought with us onto pebbles. Things that were holding us back, things we didn't want to take back home with us, We were then told to leave them somewhere in the retreat grounds...leave them and don't take them back home.

Rest

Repentance

Quietness

Trust

Salvation

Strength

Surrender

Whole

New Things in the New Year

I can't believe it's been weeks since I last posted! I had great plans for my blog this month but something abnormal happened after the holiday slow down. I actually slowed down again! My calendar this month has remained relatively free of activity and I have embraced it. I've had three weekends in a row with nothing planned and I've been hibernating and enjoying it. This slow down in my calendar has fit nicely into the direction I want to go this year and has enabled me to bring back some soul practices that I let slip away.

Find a window of time that cultivates a restful heart.       ~Shelly Miller, Rhythms of Rest

This year restoring my spiritual health has to be a priority. As an introvert, periods of quiet time by myself are needed to restore my energy. A combination of slowing down at least one day a week and spending time daily reading Scripture, praying and journaling move me to healthier places. I've spent a lot of time over the past few years learning ways to try and keep burnout at bay, learning to understand how I am wired, and which activities best restore my energy. Yet, even with all of this knowledge, I find I can easily fall back into old habits of distraction, habits of over-commitment and running off of adrenaline - all of which result in unhealthy areas of life for me. In these weeks of slowing down I have found such refreshment from restoring those soul practices.

In the midst of all of this another strange thing happened - my word for the year changed. In December I had chosen the word "restoration" for 2017. It felt like a fit and I lived with it for well over a month, thinking about how it flowed nicely out of 2016's word "rest". I was doing some reading and journaling a few weeks ago and it seemed that the word "whole" kept popping up. This happened again and again over the course of a few days and slowly the word started resonating with where I have been lately and with where I want to go. Whole fits the picture of health I want for all areas of my life. This is the first time since I started the practice of selecting a word for the year that I've changed my word.

I am once again joining Ali Edwards One Little Word (OLW) community to develop ways to keep my word active throughout the year. Last year I used her binder system for journaling my word. While I enjoyed trying a different style, I found I wanted to return to more of my own style of art journaling and mixed media art. I had intended to make a journal but then I started seeing posts on Instagram of these wonderful Traveler's Notebooks that people were using for planners and art journals and I was drawn in! If you are not familiar with a Traveler's Notebook, it is a leather cover with elastic bands inside to hold a variety of mini notebooks, called inserts, that are like the signatures you make for books.The various notebooks you place inside can be used for a variety of things such as calendars, note keeping, to-do lists, sketching, memory keeping, and on and on. Japanese company, Midori, makes the original Traveler's Notebooks, but a number of companies and people have developed similar ones know as Fauxdoris. I read and watched a number of reviews and ended up purchasing a Nomads journal, which was about half the price of a Midori. I figured I'd start out with this one and see how I like using it before purchasing something more expensive.

Two things happened as I explored this new Traveler's Notebook (TN) world. First, I decided to do my OLW journal in a TN sketch insert. Then as I explored the many uses for the TN I decided to use it for a planner as well using inserts for my calendar, my weekly organization planner, and idea notebook for my blog art and creativity. I have been happily organizing it all! In the past I've had my calendar binder which held my overall calendar but then was mainly used for work stuff. Then I had a smaller notebook that I used to organize my art, blogging and other creative pursuits, as well as my Etsy shop stuff. The TN helps me pull all of it together in one notebook - ideally. I say "ideally" because I actually may need to add a second TN for my art journals, but I'm going to live with one for a while and tweak my system. But even if I do add a second one their size (4.25x8.25") is nice enough to fit in a purse.

I purchased a variety of inserts, some Midori and some from a shop I found on Etsy, Yellow Paper House.

I set up my notebook with my 2017 calendar, a weekly to-do insert, a insert for the details of my creative life, blog and Etsy shop, and an insert to record significant Scriptures and quotes (kind of like a commonplace journal). That filled up my TN so my OLW journal and other art journals are just separate right now as I sort out using my TN.

So that's how my new year has begun - full of slowing down, refreshment, and organizing! Next week is busy so I'll see how well I navigate while trying to keep up with my soul practices.:)

How are you starting your new year?